Monday, June 28, 2010

a tale of two cities '05

kl.
i have long called it quits with the girlfriend. it wasnt working out. i didnt have any further excuse. and i got busy with work. i was away most of the time from the comfort of my desk. completely immersed myself with work.

chicago.
you were busy manhunting on the side. all the ups and downs. mostly up than down. a performer in the comfort of her own stage. you seemed to have forgotten everything that once was transpired. too minuscale of an event. but it was Eid. you were away from family back home.

kl.
i remembered you. after our last interaction, you have managed to slipped off my mind pretty well. but out of courtesy to our meaningless exchange of mind, i wished you happy eid. i kept it brief. you were not the centre of my attention. distracted by the hectic campaign schedule which i looked forward to complete in weeks time.

chicago.
you were delighted to hear from me. apparently not all was lost back then, you thought. you hinted you missed our little talks. telling me how dull you found life at the moment. you were tempting me back into continuation. you felt devoid of flattery and admiration.

kl.
i wanted to laugh my head off. i felt i was back at the starting point. ready to take this lap with you again. only then i realised how much i enjoyed your nonsense and how it kept me off balance. but only this time i didnt feel like arguing or having an ego contest. i have other things to juggle too at this moment. i chose to be pleasant to you.

chicago.
you felt a slightly different voice reaching you this time. but being so self-absorbed you hardly notice. the spotlight was back on you. and you will lure every inch of it that you could get from me. the words you hear elated you into another level you never thought you could reach with me. it was almost impossible, you thought. almost.

kl.
i knew that once you were in the picture, there will be no escaping. our course took somewhat a different tone. a deeper reach. a more intimate ambience. at times i could feel these words are no more intense than a love-making. but words they all were. you bethrothed yourself to it. and i like the new side of you that i was discovering.

chicago.
you found that you needed me. somehow this time this worked. and you were again swept off by everything that i appear to be. you wanted to loose yourself in the wave of happiness that i created. you reciprocated. baring your soul to somebody thousand of miles away and gravitate into a connection. everything felt right. suddenly you are human. suddenly the sunny picture wasnt the only ones you've got, there are tears that you have pretty well hidden from the public eye. wounds that you trust i would be able to heal.

kl.
one of the things i recently said has offended you. gravely though i could not understand how. we spoke of God. you got defensive and words that you threw to me stings more than thousands scorpions. or Ali's. i have never seen you angry, retaliate at such little misunderstandings with such harshness and brutality. i wasnt sure how best to react. it was about me not being wrong.

chicago.
you couldnt care less, you thought. you felt somewhat betrayed and that piece of mind was worth it. everybody disappoints, you sighed. and my reply came. you put on your armor as you psyched yourself into the heat of anger, only this time you didnt hear yourself fell. thudding hard as you melted at every words that reached you like summer songs and touched your deepest end that your heart almost blushed with ecstasy. you came to acknowledge us.

kl.
i fell into this romance. i couldnt quite put a finger on it but i was happy to claim it mine. to claim you. i called my daffodils. in my private little world, you were the core. i didnt intend to look further.

chicago.
you wanted me. and life that you pursue. among thousands of things that you immersed in public, you searched in me for comfort. for love. but i didnt think you'd realised that. because you found yourself a boyfriend. somebody nice, you told me.

kl.
i was dumbfounded for a while. but who really expects pledge of loyalty when we were not looking for it in each other. i myself was courting a girl who was working with me. merely to satisfy my physical needs. i accepted that you got a boyfriend when i saw how happy you were with him in the photo you sent me. but deeply i wished that it was me your smile was for. but no, i was in no way entertaining your talks of him. our relationship should be exclusive of him.

chicago.
you noticed that your feelings. bonds. whatever with me didnt change even when you were with someone else. this side of you belonged to me. this poetic beauty was something that you would only have with me. nobody minds. nobody should. but you love him. that was no lie.

kl.
i have begun a relationship myself. i decided that since we were both with other people, i could not see how this was working out between us two. besides, you didnt love me i thought. since you are also far away, unrelated to any aspect of my life saves for our precious little exchanges, i decided that this is no longer a relationship of convenience. i told you we should say goodbyes.

chicago.
you were sad. if you were crushed, you masked it well. you never questioned instead you let it be my wishes. somehow, you revealed how much i meant to you and that this was something that you keep close to your heart. you missed me. and you wished me well.

kl.
i didnt respond. it was something that i didnt want to take a step back and reconsider. i was mean and ruthless, i didnt realise i broke your heart. but deep inside i was at lost with the direction of our relationship. it seemed foolish to think that we would be able to do this without any solid foundation. we were merely a glimpse of fairytales. we were not real.

chicago.
you wrote me 'the melancholic eyes'. you poured your regret in it. you kept all of my writings neatly. a pang of sadness crept up. but life moves on. and you were certainly them who were thrilled at the prospects.

kl.
i wrote you ' a short life'. i poured my defeat in it. before me a promising life, but i knew i took whatever pieces of you i have left with me. that much i knew.

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