Friday, September 28, 2012

back to the start

nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be this hard

i simply blanked when she said she had enough of me.
i could not comprehend how is that relevant to the topic that we are arguing.
it came out of nowhere.
already several times in a row these past few weeks.

i held everything back.
i kept looking at the door.
at everything else that are moving freely outside the window.
my mind focused on nothing but the open road.
the blue sky. the companion of strangers.

this must be the most uncomfortable position to be in.
to not be engaged. a million miles away.

i packed my bag the next day and jumped in a car.
with bunch of people i have just met.
people that i have no obligations towards.
simply devoid of expectations.

we hit the road. wherever it took us.
i had no idea as i was driven away into distance.
into uncertainties. into possibilities.
for a moment i felt free again. from this world.
maybe a break from all else.
from any sort of comprehension.

few days away from it all.
they finally dropped me home.
we said cheers mate.
and watched those bone heads left.

it was late. the light was still on.
she waited for me. i greeted her with a relaxed smile on my face.
was still very happy from the trip.

as i leaned forward to kiss her goodnight.
she held me. tight.
she said she loved me. and that she was sorry.

of course, sayang.
same here.

this must be how it feels to grow old..

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