nonchalant

i was put through hell for almost a week.
for upsetting her.

it tested me.
that when it was over,
i told her to shut it.

no, i do not want to discuss about it.
i do not want to communicate of what has actually transpired
during those cold bitter moments.
i just wanted to absorb that moment of us coming together again.
and moved on.

she held me.
she was searching for my eyes.
wanting those deep soul dialogues.
i averted all of it.

nonchalant.
when it is simply fear
that i tried hard
to suppress.

of losing her.