yang..

'i am warded.
positive for dengue..'

i felt my insides softly crumbled.

sunday afternoon

i remember wasting it

in cool shade of tree

sitting on a grassy hill

overlooking nothing but distance.

it was most quiet.

i had no desire to let my mind wander.

i had to be here.

and let the silence

soaked into me.

i remember a pair of butterflies.

and little white flowers.

basking in the sun.

and i remembered you.

and how i missed you.

to the depths i could not explain.

to the ends that ceased to exist.

i now feel at loss.

that despite all these i carry in this silly little heart

i chose not to make an effort, but to

turn you away. and let you leave.

i wish one day

you'd knew.

and forgive.